Just after Christmas, I got up in the early hours of the morning as usual to work. As I sat down at my desk, all I could feel was blah. The twinkly lights on my Christmas tree were still twinkling. But I had no motivation at all.
I thought in that moment about research from scientists like Robert Sapolsky. Their work has shown that we feel motivated and happy in anticipation of rewards — dopamine spikes ahead of getting whatever prize you get. I knew from that data that part of my slump might simply have been from the fact I’d already gotten through the Christmas I’d been looking forward to. It’s normal to have a slump after something you’ve been anticipating passes, even promotions or selling your startup.
But the deep part of me knew that wasn’t the entire story.
When the message of relevance and value meets science
So often in the corporate world and even beyond, we attach our worth to doing. Especially in American culture, we confuse achievement — simply reaching goals or reaching tangible outcomes like finishing a task or getting promoted — with accomplishment — completing something that influences the development or growth of you, someone else, or the world. We believe out of this confusion that we have to keep going after goals and earning our keep.
What happens when you pair that with the science of motivation?
My hypothesis is that, if you mentally associate your worth with what you do, even something like getting through holiday dinners and gift exchanges and people pleasing through it, then when your brain follows the normal dopamine letdown, your sense of value might drop as soon as the achieving is over, too. Because there’s nothing in front of you to do or chase anymore, there’s also no hope you’re going to get affirmation of your value.
I didn’t just feel down, less motivated, or rudderless looking at the Christmas tree I knew I had to tear down — it wasn’t a simple “aww, that’s over now” feeling. I felt anxious and sad underneath the notion that, somehow, my way to connect and contribute was fading. I couldn’t help but ask myself what else I could do next just to stay relevant.
Accomplishing trumps achieving every time
As a young professional in particular, you’ll hear that word — relevant — every day. The corporate world puts it on repeat and rather blatantly tells you that relevancy and value connect. If you’re not constantly offering something people want in the immediate moment, you’re not needed. You don’t matter. You’re worthless. We treat life like one big performance where, if we just keep contributing, we’ll earn the right to stick around and have a voice.
But as I looked at my Christmas tree, I was able to remind myself that feelings aren’t always truth. Even though I didn’t feel very good, I knew that the worth God gives to each of us is not variable or based on achieving, the way your yearly bonus might be from one year to the next. It’s fixed according to faith.
God wants us all to get out and take action. But it’s not so we can earn our value by achieving — we aren’t meant to associate those two things, although the world makes it hard not to. It’s so that we can glorify Him in what we accomplish. Your relevance is never in question if that’s the job you’re doing.