Imitation might be flattery, but seeing it as a fast-track to success has become standard. Everything is about copying what the successful people do so we can become successful like they are. To that end, we gobble up content on the habits and routines of leaders — a search just for “morning routines professionals” gives 319 million results on Google.
Let’s set aside for the moment that this kind of behavior goes directly against what’s necessary for the deep authenticity professionals also say matters. If everything you’re doing revolves around what others have found works, you’re like them by default, with opportunities to succeed in your own way taking a back seat.
When you focus on elements like routines or habits, all of that is action-oriented. It’s all focused on what the person does to achieve the end goal. Their character becomes secondary. In fact, you might not know what’s motivating them to take the action at all, because you have your own motivations and all you care about in the moment is whether their action achieves your objective.
But what happens if you flip the order? What if your primary focus is character and the routine or habit (action) becomes secondary?
Leaning into values enables you to be who God made you to be
When you approach growth in this way, all of a sudden, you’re leaning into values. And that matters because if you are clear on the values you want to live out, you can find your own action or goals within that. You don’t have to copy anyone else and can be exactly who God made you to be.
Let’s say your value is honesty. If you’re more of an extrovert, you might want to have a face-to-face conversation to share some truth with someone. If you’re more introverted, you might be more comfortable writing a letter or making a call. You’re being honest in both cases, but the mode of operation is different.
When character and values are the priority, it’s also a natural filter for which actions and habits are acceptable. Let’s say you want to get some money. If you value hard work, you’ll likely choose the action of getting a job to get pay. If you don’t value hard work, though, you might choose cheating or stealing to get the money you want. Or let’s say you wanted to lose weight. If you valued treating your body as a temple of God, you would not starve your body to shed your excess pounds. But if you value appearances more than anything, then you might think eating just a piece of toast is an appropriate action. In other words, you’re thinking about whether the means to the end are a fit for you, which minimizes the risk of behaving in a way that would displease God.
What you do can change your thinking, but thinking needs context and purpose
All this being said, I acknowledge that there’s a connection between behavior and attitude. Sometimes, performing a specific ethical habit makes it easier for you to adopt a better attitude and build good character. The concept that doing can improve thinking is common to psychology. But having a picture to begin with of how you want to be thinking gives the actions you select a larger context and purpose.
Who reflects the way you want to be?
What this means for you as you seek mentors and others to learn from is that merely finding people who have obtained what you want isn’t enough. You also have to be discerning around why and how they obtained it. It’s better to seek those who reflect the way you want to be than it is to seek those who reflect specific modes of acquisition you might or might not have the skills, talents, or experience to follow.