Today, Kate Shellnutt reports in an article for Christianity Today that the trust people have in leaders of the church is dying. That’s not without good reason. We see issues like embezzlement, infidelity, and sexual abuse constantly, and there are dozens of other forms of spiritual abuse. I don’t know if the problem is getting worse or if we merely are both more aware of it because of technological connections and cancel culture’s overall decreased tolerance level. But I do know that we cannot achieve perfection, which means we must have some forgiveness. But this is why accountability is so critical. If we lose faith in a few, we can lose faith in them all.
For every wolf, there are many other real shepherds
Much of the problem comes from the fact that many of the scandals violate trust in such a profound way. Some of the money issues we’ve seen are bad, but issues of physical violation are a completely different animal. The complacency of those in authority at best and conspiracy at worst have done serious damage. And to those poor pastors have hurt, I am sorry. You deserve better.
But I also want to point out that for every pastor who violates trust, there are many others who ARE getting it right. The ones who are getting it right must commit to work harder because of those who have gotten it wrong. But just as action can break trust, it can heal it.
For anyone who has been through any kind of spiritual abuse, I highly recommend any of the work of Diane Langberg. She’s been at it for more than 50 years and is exactly the kind of advocate we need to do better.
The biggest job to tackle with victims of spiritual abuse
From my own experience, I can say that the biggest job for pastors trying to overcome the trust violations others have committed is to uncouple God from the violators in the minds of the victims. Victims will think, however subconsciously, that if the poor pastor represents God, that God cannot be good. The only way people can learn that He is good while man is bad is to be blunt about it and slowly retrain the thought patterns people have had about who He is. That is no small job. It takes a pastor who is willing to take years, maybe a lifetime. But, thank God, those pastors do exist.
The relevance of spiritual abuse to the workplace
People who have been victims of spiritual abuse often have a profound struggle to trust virtually anyone in authority. That low level of trust can make interactions with bosses and managers challenging. Managers might not understand why a spiritually abused person resists them or has trouble truly integrating into the team. That’s especially true because many workplaces have not been open about discussing issues of faith, even if they are more aware of the need for mental health support.
In some cases, the way poor pastors have treated others leads people to seek out or comply with the same kind of abuse they faced at the hands of the church. For example, suppose a pastor has sexually abused someone. That person might also allow a boss to take advantage of them. On top of suffering the new abuse, the individual might lose their job and professional reputation if HR discovers the inappropriate relationship.
So, there is a lot at stake. I hope that, as we become more aware of what’s truly happening within the church, work leaders can empathize and understand the ways that faith (and faith violations) can seep into the office. They can be a vital part of healing simply by talking things out. But they can be even more effective if they truly live the values the poor pastor failed to uphold. I will stress that that is also true when it is another boss who falls from grace in an ethical scandal — good leaders can step into the breach. If leaders understand how much of the day people spend under their supervision and accept that compassionate leadership involves being the model that was lacking, they can do enormous good.
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